Updates galore!

This post is a bit all over the place. But I will start at the top!

We arrived back from our holiday a little while ago. It was great getting away, and New Zealand is stunning. One of the joys of driving through NZ is the scenery. Everywhere you go there is beauty to be found. This country is built around it farms not the cities - and it was a joy to travel through again. It was not long enough, but it was all we could do at this point. My son was a delight to travel with, patient and fun. He loved to explore all the new hotel rooms, and I think generally just loved having his parents around - okay okay, he loved having his mum around :) He was glued to my hip the whole time. We walked around Auckland - and it was very hilly. More than I remember it. Pushing a pram with a 12kg toddler on top of that, meant my husband and I got some great walks in. Our son slept during the day in his pram (or in the car when we were driving) so that all worked out really well. Our transition back home was not a hassle in regard to his sleep. He was just lovely to have around.

I got a cold while travelling, and still fighting that of, as is my boy. Which is why there is a lack of posts.

One of the tricky minefields you have after a miscarriage is hearing about other pregnancies. So far I have been pretty good. My attitude has always been "I am happy for them, even though I am sad for my loss". Until this week. One of my friends announced her pregnancy. Now she and I went through our first pregnancies together, and it hit me hard. We should be pregnant together, I should be celebrating with her,  I should be 28/29 weeks, I should, I should, I should!!! Sigh. I am trying so hard to not let this get to me, but it is. She also does not know about my miscarriage, and I knew once I messaged her to congratulate her - she would start a conversation and want to catch up. Sigh... not sure how to deal with this... I have tried so hard to not feel this way!

However, I am hoping we can start trying again very soon. Just waiting on AF - which I hope will appear in two weeks. My naturopath, as much as I love her, does tend to see things a certain way. Her comments that once I am pregnant again, it will all be better, and I will feel I am not wasting time etc etc, doesnt help. Another baby will not replace the one I lost. It will not be ignored. It was still our child.

Blah - feeling low, but you get that sometimes. I just try and look forward and think of my sons smiling face.