15 weeks!

Not too much news (which is a good thing!) from me. I am 15 weeks today, and still feel ill. The exhaustion and nausea are still around, but I am okay with that. My knee is being brutal, and not sure how I am going to cope with another 6 months of being in this amount of pain. The pain is bad, but it is the lack of sleep and the fact that I am scared I may fall down when I put weight on it. I expect it will just get worse as I get bigger.

I have a nice small bump I am still managing to hide :) It is nice to see it and to see it growing. I still am scared, and have freak out moments where I wait to feel that tell tale pressure, or a little flutter. But it is very hard. I read an article today about a woman's infertility battle. She described her pregnancy as a PTSD IVF pregnancy. I think it is so right. We are all slightly traumatised by the experience, and while others celebrate, we freak out over the smallest thing. If you are interested here is the article:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/03/17/after-i-v-f-pregnant-but-still-stuck-in-the-past/?_r=0

For me, I am scared of buying maternity clothes, and feel that fear of what if it goes wrong every time I tell someone else. But I need to let go of the fear at some point. It is just really tough.