When to tell a friendship is really over..

Something that really hit hard after this miscarriage, was that I didn't turn to the friends I once would have turned to. One friend in particular I have known since high school. She has never wanted kids (and has terminated pregnancies - she is ironically very fertile), and never met my son. We were so close once and in my pain I just wanted to turn to her. But she is selfish and going through her own stuff. 

I contacted her through Facebook the other day - and hinted something was wrong. I didn't get a response. I guess after all these years I thought she knew me well enough to know when I was suffering. Maybe I was just unrealistic. I told her flat out something was wrong but I couldn't get the words out - and I realized our friendship was probably dead when she said 'even to me'. 

I'm not sure why but those words irked me. Why her? Why after all this time could I not tell her. Even to her I couldn't talk about it. That told me what I needed to known- it's a friendship no longer.  A few days later and I have heard nothing. She knew I was really scared and worried that I may have to go back into hospital for something. You would think a SMS or message would be the least she would have done (she would never call - that would cost her money). 

Maybe it's my hormones. Or maybe it's life moving on. Or maybe it's my time to move forward.