A most amazing day.

So yesterday was a very special "birth"day. I didn't sleep much (maybe two hours) as nerves got the better of me. I also got to enjoy those last internal kicks and guesses to whom I was about to meet. My husband also woke early and we both showered and went off to the hospital. It was 6.30am and the roads were empty. We got there ten minutes later. I was taken straight up to our room and got changed into my gown. I was starting to get very anxious at this point. Not sure I was ready yet to meet my baby, scared of the procedure and recovery and just... Well ... Scared. 

I was taken down to surgery, and met the anaesthestist who was lovely. She went through the procedure with me, and I was reminded of going through it with my eldest. My obstetrician showed up, and was so accommodating of my wishes. It was amazing to go through this journey with him. From conceiving my son to birthing my second child. He also did my IVF transfer which resulted in this baby. My husband went off to put on scrubs and to come and hold my hand. I was wheeled into theatre and I had a local put into my hand. They then put in a drip. I was then instructed to sit on the edge of the bed and to try and curl over (which is so hard when you have a baby sitting in your front!). I then had another local before they did the spinal and also put morphine into my spine. It was not tinge most pleasant experience and was the part I dreaded the most. I started to feel dizzy so when I could lie down again (while I could still feel my legs) I just flopped down. The sheets went up and they started. First I got a catheter and then the pulling and pushing started. As requested the sheet came down to introduce us to our son. I also got my request to delay cord clamping. The sheet went back up and they closed me up. 

We then went to recovery (my husband and son went first and met us there), where I was given more pain relief and they observed me. They kept checking to see that the spinal was dropping as it was a little high up on the body. I also started with our first breast feed. Unlike my first son, this little one took a bit to get going. I must admit I was worried we may struggle, but by day two he has worked it all out. I also was itchy all over - seems to be a side effect of the morphine in the spine. Anti histamines fixed that up.  

As for me, I have amazed myself, my doctor and nurses by just how well I've bounced back. When I had my son, I could barely move the first day up. The third day I was still struggling. This morning (when I was allowed to get up) I got out of bed with no problems. I've been moving around really well. It's surprised me. I need to remind myself I only had him yesterday! 

My heart is so full. My oldest is infatuated with his baby brother. And my journey through infertility has come to an end, but my journey as a mother has just begun. 

It's the final countdown.

In a few hours I will meet you, hold you, kiss your little toes. In the last few hours of this pregnancy I am feeling so much. My nerves are through the roof, I worry about your brother, I'm nervous to find out if you are a boy or girl and I reflect on this journey. So much has happened to get here, and although it's the end of the fertility battle for me, it's the start of a whole new love and life. Seeing you that day on the ultrasound screen is still a dream for me. When all seemed lost you still fought on. My little fighter. You love to kick your legs across my belly in big swipes. If I touch your little leg you respond with a kick. And if you hear your brothers voice the flutters start up again. So much personality before we even meet. So goodbye pregnancy, goodbye this long journey and happy birthday to my precious little fighter. We can't wait to meet you. 

37 weeks - made it to term!!!!

So today marks 37 weeks. Who would have thought we would get here!! Less then two weeks until I meet this little one and we start our next chapter. I started maternity leave this week, and my gorgeous work colleagues made me feel absolutely spoilt before I left. So very special and different to my last workplace. Sleep is elusive but I'm enjoying preparing and getting ready. My son has a bag full of big brother gifts and snacks for when he is visiting. I've finally packed my bags and just getting small things done. I've had a lot of Braxton hicks and I'll be curious to see if bub is fully engaged at my check up tomorrow. I still think this baby has other plans :) 

Still I am term!!!! Could not be more excited!!!