30 weeks and getting bigger!

 I am now down to fortnightly checks! This is always the fun part as we get closer to meeting this baby! I had my gestational diabetes test a week ago, and felt awful. Nauseous, tired, lethargic, unable to eat. The whole weekend I just wanted to drink and get that glucose out of me. I know I felt bad with the test when I did it with my son, but this reaction made me convinced I had GD this time. Thankfully I am negative!!! I don't have it. I felt like celebrating, as having GD would have landed me back as high risk, and  mentally I could not cope with that!

I am also now in the officially uncomfortable stage. I am not sleeping well at night, in pain (Whooping cough damaged my left ribs so when the baby moves up they always cause a lot of pain), back pain, aching legs and generally just feeling my 30 weeks :) This weekend was very painful, as I had a lot of stomach pain and this baby was deciding it would practice being an acrobat. What I suspected was right, and this bub flipped around and is now finally head down in my pelvis. And that hurts!!!

So now is the fun guess what sex I am having. So far the old wives tale tell me it is a girl, but other things say it is a boy. What do you think?

Girl :
- Still stick and vomiting (when I cough it sets me off, I barely vomited with my son)
- Dry hair (with my son my hair was great, even my hairdresser mentioned my hair was dry)
- Heart beat at 160 (having said that so was my son, but according to the old wives tale...)
- Tummy bump according to some is a girl shape (with my son I had a lot say it was a boy shape)
- Sweet food (I couldn't even stomach chocolate when pregnant with my son)
- Every time a friend has had a baby, I have thought I am having the opposite or I am having the same : each time it works out to be a girl.

Boy :
- We think we both (husband and i) saw a little appendage on the scan.
- Heartbeat the same as my sons (160)
- My son insists it is a boy
- IVF baby (higher rates of boys)

Lol.. less than 8 weeks to go and we will find out :) thoughts? bets? odds? :)

You can't consider it a baby - it was too early...

I am pretty hurt right now. By all people my mother. I was trying to explain to her, that hearing about my friends twin pregnancy was hard. My friend went through one round of clomid, had sex and ended up with healthy twins. I went through 18 months of hell, to get pregnant with twins and lose one. So it hurts. It doesn't feel fair at times. Yet my mums response was that I can't consider it a baby - it was too early.

Those words cut so deeply. For anyone that has had a loss, planned or unplanned; and for anyone that goes through infertility and battles so many demons to get where they are, to lose a pregnancy at 4 weeks, 10 weeks, 20 weeks, is painful.  I am so grateful I still have this little jumping bean inside me, but that doesn't mean I don't mourn the loss of my two babies (my last pregnancy, and this bubs twin). I know this little one had a twin, that the bond the two would have had would have been amazing, and I know this will never happen. Instead I have been told to be happy with what I have. Now my mum is normally quite understanding, but she never had problems getting pregnant, never suffered a loss, so doesn't understand it and I am thankful for that. No one should go through it. But for those that have - we see the world differently. We see those two lines as hope, and we already get attached to what this means for us. It is irrelevant when you lose it. To me it is another child I lost. And yes it still hurts. But it is a bittersweet loss, as I am still carrying this amazing miracle of miracles, who loves to remind me that they are around, healthy and active. And I love it. And I am so eternally grateful for this miracle.

But these words hurt. So if you ever meet someone and think to yourself - oh it was too early, keep it to yourself. We don't want to hear it. I have a friend who had 3 losses all before 6 weeks, and she still talks about how hard it was. She talks about her husbands tears everytime they went in to see no heartbeat, or when she started to bleed. I have read about the losses at 4 weeks, and the pain of it. Anyone who has been through it doesn't think it is too early. So please think before you speak.

Now I just need to learn to forgive the comments by Mum. And that is tough.

28 weeks!

I am finally getting into the sticky end of this pregnancy. Things have started to hurt, pain is a constant, and movement is felt all the time. This is expected, but I am still thankful I don't have the pelvic instability I had with my son. Makes it much easier to deal with. I have been battling a cold for the past 5 weeks, and finally relented and took a course of antibiotics. Seems there was something else in my system and I am finally on my way to getting over this cold.

Otherwise everything is fine. Bub is still very high and in an awkward position, so anything could happen. Everyone is feeling more confident about this bub, and that is nice.

It feels like it is going so fast, and I am trying to enjoy it as much as I can, but I know I will enjoy meeting this little one so much and starting the next phase. It is also daunting as I wonder how my son will handle it all. He is very much a mummy's boy, and I think the demands of a toddler and newborn are going to be interesting. Especially when all he wants is me. But we will work it out!

Down to 2 week check ups now!