Night has always been a save haven for me. Sleep a comfort and dreams an escape when I needed it. Since the miscarriage a number of things have happened.
I wake up at 4am EVERY MORNING. I don't know why. Did my baby die then, and I am waking then. Is it because the 3/4am time is suppose to be more in tune with other wordly thing. Is it just my hormones causing me to wake every E%%#$ morning?
I dream... last night my dream really got to me. I dreamt I had my baby, and struggled to get my baby to breath or live. I tried it all. I tried to work out if it was a girl or a boy, but my baby was just wrong. My dreams hurt.
And I wake up longing for the lost child.
I hope it gets easier. I am so tired!
So sorry to hear what you have been going through - and not being able to sleep too. I am sure it is hormonal. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I hope so... I am hoping my detox will help.. I am so tired!
DeleteMy heart goes out to you. Losing a baby is something that noone should have to go through. I have also suffered a miscarriage and some days are harder than others. Thanks for your blog and stay strong and i will try to do the same.
ReplyDeleteThankyou... it is great to find support in so many amazing places x
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