I just want to wish you all happy holidays and a happy new year! I am hoping for an amazing 2014, as I am ready for 2013 to be well and truly over.
My joys this year have come from an amazing supportive husband who has put up with my pain and my joys. I have had some low points and he really does deal with it in his own special ways - in the ways I need them to be dealt with (even leaving me alone for 24 hours while I went through my bad patches, and being there when I went through even worse patches). An amazing son, who brings so much joy and beauty into my life. I love seeing him grow and his love for life. The little things he does now - hugs, cuddles, the joy in seeing me after a day of work or the joy he gets when he goes to his grandmothers or great grandmothers for the day. I love seeing you grow my beautiful son. You have been my absolute rock this year. And a step son who is the most amazing big brother I could wish for! Seeing you both together warms my heart like no other. My new home - has brought us all joy and pride.
And to my baby who I never met but got to see squirm around on screen. I hope you are happy and at peace, I love you and will always miss you.
Happy holidays and new year to you all!
Monday, 23 December 2013
Thursday, 12 December 2013
IUI #6 : The Outcome
This week has been a major roller coaster. I thought this would be a very different post to what I am about to write. But let's go back to the start of the week Monday. I started to suspect something was happening on Monday night. I had a sudden thirst, sore boobs, hunger and increased CM (and if you read my other posts - I thought it had not worked at all! so I was suprised). The next day I noticed more so went and did a test. Middle of the day - in a cubicle and waited. I got two lines. I couldn't believe this cycle which was so screwed up worked. By Wednesday I felt the full blown early affects of those hormones. On Thursday I started to bleed, and the thirst disappeared. By today I had full bleeding and a blood test. My HCG registered pregnancy hormone, while my progesterone was down. So what does this all mean?
Welcome to the world of a suspected chemical pregnancy. My nurse is insisting it is all due to residual ovidrel - the pregnancy hormone I use to sustain the early pregnancy. But I don't think it was (my science mind going into overdrive).
1. I know from past tests 250 units is out of my system by day 10 after I took the shot (probably earlier). So there is no way that 30 units would still be in my system at 4 days ( I calculate that I would have lost 25 units a day to get to no registering by day 10).
2. I took the test in the middle of the day. My urine concentration of hormone would have been really low. If it was that 30 units, then it should have been negative, as there should have been very little left. It wasn't, there was a very clear line (stronger than the squinter - it was obvious).
3. My symptoms got worse days AFTER the shot. This would only happen with increasing hormone. The shot would have been decreasing. I also had two other units of 30 - (3 days apart) and did not have these reactions.
4. I had none of these symptoms with the 200 unit shot - over 4 times more homone and none of these symptoms.
I am not sure why she is insisting it wasn't what I know it to be. I knew the follicle was too small - so probably it was a dud egg.
Btw - for those interested. A chemical pregnancy is a really early loss - called a chemical due to the fact the pregnancy can only be picked up by chemical means.
What do others think? Am I just over thinking? Or is she just trying to make me feel better?
Welcome to the world of a suspected chemical pregnancy. My nurse is insisting it is all due to residual ovidrel - the pregnancy hormone I use to sustain the early pregnancy. But I don't think it was (my science mind going into overdrive).
1. I know from past tests 250 units is out of my system by day 10 after I took the shot (probably earlier). So there is no way that 30 units would still be in my system at 4 days ( I calculate that I would have lost 25 units a day to get to no registering by day 10).
2. I took the test in the middle of the day. My urine concentration of hormone would have been really low. If it was that 30 units, then it should have been negative, as there should have been very little left. It wasn't, there was a very clear line (stronger than the squinter - it was obvious).
3. My symptoms got worse days AFTER the shot. This would only happen with increasing hormone. The shot would have been decreasing. I also had two other units of 30 - (3 days apart) and did not have these reactions.
4. I had none of these symptoms with the 200 unit shot - over 4 times more homone and none of these symptoms.
I am not sure why she is insisting it wasn't what I know it to be. I knew the follicle was too small - so probably it was a dud egg.
Btw - for those interested. A chemical pregnancy is a really early loss - called a chemical due to the fact the pregnancy can only be picked up by chemical means.
What do others think? Am I just over thinking? Or is she just trying to make me feel better?
Thursday, 5 December 2013
9dpiui
So acronyms become the norm (normal) when you enter the world of infertility treatments. Today I am 9dpiui - or 9 days post IUI. And I am pretty sure it has not worked. There are a few tell tale signs when I am pregnant and they are missing. So now I will just sit and wait for AF (aunt flo/period - I should do an acronym table!). I know you ladies out there will tell me it is not over till AF arrives, but unless something changes today or tomorrow I know it hasn't worked. I was probably being too hopeful. My follicle size was pretty small - and my body was just being difficult to respond. Now we have to wait till January for another cycle...
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