Sunday, 29 September 2013

All about my son!

I wanted to change tack for a moment. This blogged has focussed on the pain of my loss, my infertility and how I am trying to overcome all these things. But there is one special little light in my life, that I want to share with you.

My little man is about to turn 18 months. 18 whirlwind incredible months, that I would not change for a thing. The sleepless nights, my juggling act between work, family and motherhood, the down times - all of it have been incredible. And I would have found this journey that much harder without him in my life.

Yesterday we took him for his first haircut! He cried through the whole thing and held onto me with tight arms. I hate admitting it but I love those cuddles, when he gets shy or insecure and he just won't let go. Otherwise he is off and about (running wherever he can!). It is such hard work being a toddler. Firstly, there are the issues when mummy won't let me go into the medicine cupboard, or the bins. And then there is the annoyance when they don't get what I want. And not letting my have my dummy/pacifier or sleep toy. My life is over :) A lot of the time I laugh at his tantrums, it always ends up (okay some of the time ;) ), with him giggling with me. Otherwise a cuddle and distraction works. I remind myself this is a stage where he can not control his emotions, and his cries are frustration or normally something else going on. The other week, he broke down every 5 minutes. I ended up saying to him, "We have the weekend together, I would like to enjoy it, can you calm down?". to my utter shock and disbelief, he nodded, stopped crying and composed himself. He is such a little man now!!

He loves his older brother so much, it warms my heart. My elder step-son is 9 years older then his brother, and I had no idea if they would get along. But they adore each other, play together and both can not wait to see each other when they are together. This is a friendship I know will last a lifetime for both of them. I am so proud of my step-son and what an amazing older brother he is. My older brother and I do not get along, never really did, so I did not want this for my kids. It is a real joy for me to see this connection.

Being a mum is the most demanding job I ever had. Especially as I am the one who works, and my husband stays home with the kids (not by choice, but necessity). When I am home, my son wants me, and I do not blame him. I want him to, but it means when I walk through the door, he comes to the toilet with me. If I have shower before he goes to bed, he bangs on the door - but I do not care!! That is the great thing about being a parent, you lose your privacy, you lose a little of your self, but you gain this amazing little person in your life. One day he will grow up, and I will banging on his door to see him, to hug him to be with him, and he will be too busy.

So I enjoy every moment, every milestone, and those cuddles, oh my those cuddles, I never want them to end...

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